Kindness is like snow – It beautifies everything it covers.
– Kahlil Gibran
When we show ourselves kindness, we create new habit patterns and neural pathways in the brain. These new pathways of kindness toward ourselves can transport us from experiencing everything as failure, inadequacy, hardship, or misfortune to joy, positivity, and opportunity.
We understand kindness from the perspective of how we treat our family and friends. What if we were to take that same approach to how we treat ourselves? How would our health improve if we listen to our body’s signals and respond with kindness and care? What if having a difficult day and feeling down transforms by introducing tools into our routine that grow kindness toward ourselves? Viewing the self with the same kindness we would express toward others is the safety we need to see the self clearly without fear of self-condemnation.
We all have days where we feel down and out. In these moments, we can either wallow in our despair and let it consume us, or we can practice simple yet effective tools to nourish ourselves. At the core of self-kindness is having compassion for our self. This entails desiring health and well-being for ourselves - gently encouraging change where needed and eliminating harmful or unproductive patterns of behavior. We’re all just doing our very best, day in and day out. As the old Buddhist saying goes, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection.”
Remember to extend kindness and understanding to yourself instead of harsh self-judgment and criticism.
1. Forgive Yourself Often
This may be the best and hardest tool to implement in your life, but it is so transforming! We are so hard on ourselves, and we are often our own worst critic. We can easily forgive our friends and family, but we have a harder time taking that forgiveness within.
Today, practice self-forgiveness. When you get caught up in self-blame, pause and think about how you would react to the same situation with a friend. Often, we need the same kind of forgiveness. At the end of the day, we’re doing the best that we can. When we know better, we can do better. In the meantime, forgiveness is key.
2. Take Care of Your Physical Health
This may look like going out for a walk every day in your neighborhood, favorite park, or on the beach; it may also look like taking a yoga class with Inner Connections Yoga & Wellness or joining a favorite gym or fitness club.
When we’re feeling down, our physical body hangs on to pent-up energy and emotion. We need to clear that energy to maintain physical health, as well as emotional and mental health. Whatever you choose is up to you! Just do it!
3. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People
Our loved ones have a loving way of pulling us out of our own funk when we don’t know how to be kind to ourselves. Just by being around other people, our energy can lift and shift in ways that promote a new, fresh start to our day. Make sure to find friends who will be patient with you and make space for you to be heard and loved. If you feel like your friends aren’t capable of this, it may be the moment to limit the amount of time you spend with them. Remember to surround yourself with people who can lift you up versus people who can only bring you down! Along with this…
4. Stop Tolerating What/Who Doesn’t Serve You Well
Sometimes practicing self-kindness is about letting go of what no longer brings you joy in life. This may be an idea, routine, or a person. It’s OK to walk away from something that brings you down. When you can let go and distance yourself in such a way, you create more space in your life and you can fill it with what actually makes you happy!
5. Rest and Recharge
We live in a society that worships productivity. While that may be needed in some instances, it also creates the assumption that a lack of productivity makes you worth less as an employee and a person and makes it exceedingly difficult to find time to be kind to yourself. Get back to the flow of nature (like sitting on the beach and feeling the waves crash - the flow of energy) and remember that life is still thriving, growing and beautiful! And so are we.
We are not designed to thrive in a “grind” society. We don’t always need to work, move, create, and do. More often than not, we need rest! We need to simply BE, and we need to know that this is more than OK.
6. Meditate
This is a wonderful practice of tuning into your mental state and works to teach you how to be kind to yourself. Meditation can give you a sense of calm, peace, and balance that can benefit both your emotional well-being and your overall health. You can also use it to relax and cope with stress by refocusing your attention on something calming. Meditation can help you learn to stay centered and keep inner peace. With so many meditation apps out there, you can find teacher-guided sessions or timers with gentle background music to ease you into meditation. Meditation teachers often say that all of our answers reside within us, so starting this practice in a time when we’re struggling can provide powerful insight.
And finally,
Pema Chodron says “Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world.”
Namaste,
Jeanne & John Adams
